Originally I wanted to write about something absolutely different but then my screen went black three times in 15 minutes, so I decided to switch of the old junk. I lit the candle, put my favourite CD into the stereo, took a pen, found some paper and started to flood it with thoughts attacking my mind the whole evening.
Today I got an email from one of the friends of the old childless times. Childless for me, she already had two children at the time we were real friends and met weekly. In this email she wrote just a couple of sentences about the horrible lack of time which enabled her to see me for the past two years, not even Christmas holidays solved the problem. Then she asked for some photos of my children to stay „in touch“. I realized she knows my youngest just from the photos.
When I was 20, a university greenhorn, I felt happy to give my first private lessons. I quite befriended the family of my first student. Once her Mum got really furious about some friends of theirs who hadn´t had time for a visit for a long time. She didn´t understand the situation. She is helpful, friendly, always there when needed. „Friends always manage to find time to meet each other if they really want to,“ she explained her attitude. That inspired me.
Has it ever happened to you that you felt lonely? That there was noone to talk to (except a little crying baby always urging its needs)? Out of the blue you had plenty of time but noone to spend it with? Coming of the new life requires new social contacts. Conditions of your life has suddenly and dramatically changed and are challenging the friendships. Just to stay in touch really demands a lot of action from you. Despite all of the effort it was like a big spring-cleaning. So after the first shock I realized that there are still some friends left and moreover I managed to make new ones. But aren´t even these friends temporary? „Everything´s temporary,“ would say one of the new ones. And I suppose he´s right, though it hurts sometimes.
I was thinking about the reply for the mail for a long time. At the end I sat to the computer and wrote: „Dear friend, I´m a busy person too. As a stay-at-home mum I look after my children, give private lessons, teach for the agency and do many other things for living. Yet I find time to meet the friends who want to see me. I know we live quite far from the city, but it is no problem for me to drive somewhere to meet.“ Then I added some photos and clicked the Send button.
There are many things changing in our lives. Without any effort, sometimes even against our will. We may try to fight the unwanted changes. It is worth the effort. Friends are important for our wellbeing. The philosopher Aristotle said, “In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. They keep the young out of mischief; they comfort and aid the old in their weakness, and they incite those in the prime of life to noble deeds.”
Thank you, my friends, for staying in my life.
Autor: Andrea Leskotová
