According to webside life.familyeducation.com National Family Opinion Incorporated polled 1,100 moms between the ages of 18 to 80 in the 1980s and found…

  • One in four women with very positive feelings about motherhood.
  • One in five women with mostly negative feelings about motherhood.
  • The majority of women with primarily ambivalent feelings on motherhood.
  • Only one out of four women had a realistic idea of what motherhood would entail.

Oh, yes, I can still remember the joy when I saw the two red stripes on my pregnency test. I felt myself different from the others, so unusual, special and…well, better and valued.  I was filled with optimism and power. Though more tired and suprised by emotional rollercoaster I had my Sun warming my heart and shining through the belly and I thought everyone was to see it. I imagined the forthcoming time as sommertime.

Motherhood changed everything. It cut down the amount of my sleeping hours, destroyed my free time and even required supressing my personal needs. On top of that is the lack of libido. I tried to struggle but when the second child was born, I just gave up. My identity was slowly fading away. After a short time I realized that I am just a mother.

If there is anyone who asks what it means to be „just“ a mother, I can explain: „just“ a mother is a person that cooks, cleans, tidies, washes, irons, polices, judges, explains, teaches, learns, drives, carries, buys, feeds, changes nappies…. I understand that one must look after the little beings who cannot do it themselves, but does it really mean that I have to sacrifice?

Of course, not. But one must work on it. And must work hard. Let me introduce these two tips to you:

1. Try to find time for yourself. When your baby is sleeping or when your husband finally comes home. Even ten minutes every day is worth trying. After that you are much more able to think clearly and enjoy your family. It’s about self-preservation.

2. Take up a hobby. The one you´ve been doing for a long time or you may find a completely new one. Whatever you do, remeber to have fun and enjoy it.

Think of motherhood as an evolution. You have evolved into something stronger, mightier and more active, but you are not a Superwoman. You are just a mother. So relax.

Andrea Leskotová